TELL YOUR MOM I WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY TO PAY HER, HAD THE RIMJOB BEEN OF HIGHER QUALITY

Friday, November 25, 2005

I Hate This Country, And It's Populace

Let's make a holiday of stealing our land from a bunch of savages (but make sure to leave out the part about 'stealing our land from a bunch of savages' and replace it, with I don't know, a fairy tale about a bunch of savages and some ignorant, puritanical Pilgrim shitfuckers having a fucking dinner party), and celebrate it by... Encouraging gluttony. Gluttony, might I add, marked by the consumption of the most bland of all meats. There you have it: America in a nutshell.

If we've got the time, let's squeeze in some homoeroticism/ceremonialization of a bunch of illiterate horrible goons in tight pants who tackle each other and play catch for a living (football). Let's dress all this up in bullshit ribbon about being thankful for our families (what is the divorce rate right now? How much higher is the probability that you'll be murdered by a family member then by a stranger?) before we top it off and buy a bunch of shit we don't need on Friday.

I spent Thanksgiving alone, the way I like it. I was invited to a coworker's house, but I declined the invitation. I have empty spaces to stare off into, which I prefer to meeting someone else's family. I don't like YOU - what makes you think I would like your goddamned family? Just because I see you everyday because I need to get my paycheck from somewhere means that you somehow think you're entitled for some of my companionship? Doesn't matter - I know the reasoning behind said invitation. It's so they can display their selfless altruism (the party that invited me was banking on this future conversation: You gave a bunch of money to the poor? You're a charitable individual that makes a public display of how much they care? Oh yeah? Well, I had fucking PHIL over for Thanksgiving dinner, top that, motherfuck). I'll be dipped in human shit before I'll a trophy on the mantle of concern for these fucks. Had three turkey TV dinners and am about to call it a night. Nothing good is on TV, and the book I'm reading sucks. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

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