TELL YOUR MOM I WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY TO PAY HER, HAD THE RIMJOB BEEN OF HIGHER QUALITY

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

My Update

So yeah, haven't been updating. Do people still look at this anymore? I haven't mounted any attacks on deserving figures or really creamed any beloved new releases. People debating my existence and crying their little hearts out over the validity of my interview with Richard Hell have gone back to doing whatever they did before in their (presumably ample) spare time.

I haven't been writing much. I've been very depressed. My life isn't going anywhere. Nothing I do matters. I haven't been laid since the dawn of man. I haven't accomplished shit with my life. I wish I had more records. I wish I had a better work ethic. I wish I wasn't sitting in front of this monitor, radiation shooting into my face, typing nonsensical, inconsequence into the digital online void. I wish I was sitting in some luxurious resort with a cold beer in my hand, a steak in front of me, and a beautiful girl on my lap. Instead I am sitting here at my lunch hour, a cold, burrito that's cheese has congealed into a unappetizing mess, next to my keyboard, and sipping periodically from a flat glass of soda. Surely, there must be more to life then this, right? What do normal people with things they take for granted, like friends and romantic relationships, do when the futility of life confronts them? Take a hot bath? Go on a bender? I've done both, to no avail. And I'll be dipped in shit if I am going to take any solace in religion.

In far better news, my guitar playing with Jesse has been coming along quite nicely. Beyond Jesse's some what suspect personal habits, in particular his affinity for consistently picking the most outright offensive to the eye articles of clothing he can possibly fine, I get along well with him. He has a very laid back manner, and he is actually capable of collaboration, a rare quality in a person. I've even written a few songs, and started singing occasionally. I don't like singing, my voice has made me the subject of much ridicule (and unfortunate, and numerous Phil imitations at the hands of my peers). I don't think we will ever play a gig as such (who would want to?), but having another creative outlet is always welcome. Being in a band is so ridiculously easy that it makes me dislike bands I disliked already even more. Fuck you guys. If I can figure out how to do it, I will record some songs and post them up here as MP3's for your listening enjoyment.

I wrote a record review for Terminal Boredom. It was a very nice, complimentary piece on the exemplary Fall Peel Sessions box. If any of you sissies out there in garage rock land want to send me your records to review (what, are you scared I'll pan it? Are you? Are you a big chicken? Bock! Bock bock ba-gock! Chicken? Ba-gock?) I will do so. I will offer and fair and honest assessment, the ultimate result depending on my mood (and lately I've been really, really pissed). Contact me if you are confident with the quality of your release, and don't if you are a chicken. Bock.

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