TELL YOUR MOM I WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY TO PAY HER, HAD THE RIMJOB BEEN OF HIGHER QUALITY

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Unfunny Lying Cocksucker Cyperpud Responds

So, Greg Lowery who both owns/runs Rip Off Records and is the main creative force behind The Zodiac Killers, had this to say:

"Phil Honolulu, or should I say HonoLIELIE? You are a liar, and I will prove it. First, why are you talking about current bands when you freely admit you don’t even like current bands? When did you stop listening to music, 1993, 94 perhaps? You are the type of ignorant idiot I go out of my way to reply to. You are not a music fan, you are somebody that wants to take a piss out of somebody you read about on a current music site. Sure that could be fun, especially with myself being such an easy target. The only reason you joined the site is obviously to stir some bullshit up, and get people to look at your stupid blog, that you, your mom and probably your roommate look at with glee at how clever and sarcastic you are, when anybody with half a brain knows you are just copying the no name maddox website (he’s funny, you’re not). The extent of your vast knowledge of myself and my band is this:"

I don't remember ever freely admitting I didn't like current bands. I just admitted I don't like most of the bands on his label.

" you googled my band name and came up with an immediate hit, the Panic Action fanzine interview that you disect and make it look like it was a serious interview. A fourth grade reader with dislexia could tell that the interview was a joke. In fact when I finished it I asked Troy if it was silly and stupid enough. But you didn’t want to read that, you wanted to read that I was enamoured with my cock blah blah blah…so maybe this will help: Panic Action Interview: JOKE, this reply: SERIOUS. That: joke, this serious. That: joke, this serious. That: joke, this serious. Do you understand? Or do I have to bitch slap your CYBERPUD SKULL about 15 times for you to get that?"

Oh, I get it. He was kidding in the interview, but he is serious when he is threatening to bitchslap me via cyberspace?

"You are sort of like the Michael Moore of blogs, do a little editing here, take some here, misrepresent some there and there is your hatchet job. Now to the big lie that you actually purchased Society’s Offenders CD/LP.

First, the timeline doesn’t make sense, you really just had enough time to some extensive reasearch (google) on my band and come up with old pictures and interviews that were done years ago. You just heard of us by the thread on Terminal Boredom. That thread has only been up for a few days."

That's wrong. I said a reader recommended it. I've heard of the Zodiac Killers, despite the general apathy and lack of coverage they've received since their inception. I never picked up the previous two Zodiac Killers records because I assumed I wouldn't like them. After a reader recommended it, I went to a store and picked it up. It had nothing to do with Terminal Boredom.

"Now you say you purchased it and took it back immediately. This means you purchased it at a record store or cd shop. This record is not that easy to find in local mom & pop record stores, so for the sake of argument, I will assume you purchased it at a larger chain. They would never take something open for return. Also, if you bought the cd, you would have surely mentioned the enhanced cd that has 16 minutes of video, that would have given you more ammunition to throw at me and my band. You would also have mentioned the insane song titles or the lyric sheet included, but you didn’t. I think the whole Society’s Offenders package screams, we are having fun and don’t take ourselves seriously. We do it to have fun and meet people, and sadly I have to deal with lying cocksuckers such as yourself. And finally if you insist on your lie that you did purchase it, tell me where you purchased it, and I will have my distributor be sure to check up on your “purchase and return” as all returns come back to the label."

I purchased it and sold it back the next day. If I recall, that's what I said. I've never returned a record, just because I don't think stores do that. I didn't want to mention the video (yeah, head in a microwave, great) or the faux-Nazi yuks to be had, because I was too busy concentrating on how much I disliked the music. As for 'insane song titles', well, they were just kind of included under my general tag of 'generic'.

"And to talk about bands on my label as being mediocre is an insult to the bands that I will always defend. Since your lies have been exposed, you should never open your fucking mouth when you don’t know what the fuck you are talking about. Those bands you mention are some of the most incredible bands of their era, so you obviously are a dumb fuck liar and please go back to 93 when all music was good…"

Again, I mentioned current bands I like, so this is wrong. I really like The Hunches, and I've mentioned that a few times. 'Incredible Bands of the era' What, the Intimate Fags are up there with Suicide? The powerhouse sounds of The Atomsmahers leave other bands in their wake? The Marked Men are going down in the history books as the pinnacle of punk?

"And finally, trust me when I say this, you don’t have to worry about me getting laid. I am not the asshole who has on the top of his website, “Girls I’m Available”. How sad and pathetic you are, and if there is a dumb cyberslut to actually fall for your bullshit, they should know you are lying cocksucker who thinks he is funny, but isn’t."

Greg Lowery
Rip Off Records/Zodiac Killers

Now I can sleep at night, the gentle thought of Greg Lowery getting laid lulling me to sleep. For someone apparently so well versed in humor and versed in recognizing sarcasm to not be able to recognize the 'Ladies, I'm available' as such, well, I don't know what to tell you...

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