TELL YOUR MOM I WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY TO PAY HER, HAD THE RIMJOB BEEN OF HIGHER QUALITY

Monday, December 06, 2004

I Won $87.00

After lunch I bet a coworker that I could eat a three pound salami. He didn't think I could. He didn't think it was possible. I assured him I could do it. He bet thirty three dollars. Word spread amongst the office. The pool got up to eighty seven. Even though there were more people watching than I felt comfortable with, the terms of the bet specified all parties involved in the momentary transaction were required to view me eating. Not only did I easily consume the entire processed meat tube with plenty of time to spare, unlike the widespread assumption, I did not vomit afterwards. Despite being after my (by my standards) frugal lunch (ham sandwich, BBQ chips, Pepsi, slice of prepackaged carrot cake I purchased at the liquor store last night) I think I could have eaten another half pound or so. If someone asked me what my current mood was, I would truthfully answer, "utter elation at my victory".

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