TELL YOUR MOM I WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY TO PAY HER, HAD THE RIMJOB BEEN OF HIGHER QUALITY

Thursday, December 02, 2004

I Fail Miserably

So, a reader pointed out to me that people were talking about yours truly on the Terminal Boredom Message forum. A post or two ago I mentioned how much I disliked a really boring record, and came across a truly odious interview quote that I felt deserved comment.

One 'Honkey Kong' had this to say:

"wow and i thought i was stupid!
that person has no right to correct anyone's spelling or grammar...
[Phil Honolulu a.k.a. me] list['s] a ton o good records as being shit"

Despite the dubious comfort of someone that regards themselves as 'stupid!' calling yours truly stupid, I should mention something about correcting the grammar. In brackets, I saw fit to mention that the approximation of 'yourself' to 'yrself' was not something I came up with. I figured [sic] meant pretty much the same thing, but I wasn't sure, and didn't want to appear, well 'stupid'. My mistake. Anyway, I find the entire 'yr' thing to be a steaming load of pigshit and didn't want to be associated with it. As for listing 'a ton o good records as being shit', well, correct me then. How wrong am I? I'd be happy to be proven wrong and some record I thought was mediocre garbage was actually incredible. Hey, I like a good record as much as the next person. What, did I fuck up and in fifty years people are going to be listing The Marked Men up there with Reverend Lonnie Farris?

One 'Steve Strange' had this to say:

"This is why I have such a low opinion of the whole "blog" phenomenon. It strikes me as another sign of how insular and self-obsorbed our society is becoming. I've never kept a diary, but if I did, I sure wouldn't want a bunch of strangers to be able to read it on the internet. Much like reality TV, blogs make it possible for almost anybody to become a "star" or an "authority" to at most a minimal audience, and at least to themselves. What is the fucking point of writing a big knockdown piece on Greg/Rip Off like that anyway? I can see like a short message board post or something, but that guy was going out of his way to show A) how dumb he thought Greg was and B) how smart he thought he was. On both counts I'd say he failed miserably'

Hey Jack, I've got a horrible job, an utterly uneventful life, and in a portion of my spare time I write a blog. So what? Of course, if I mentioned a crappy record, an inconsistent label, and a stupid fucking comment therein on a message board, it would be okay. But because it's on a blog, it's subject to your low opinion? I complained about a boring fucking record and the intellectual equivalent of a swimming pool full of human shit (i.e. the interview) and all of a sudden I'm mounting a 'big knockdown piece'? What does a 'big knockdown piece' consist of? I can see it now; 'The Jungle' by Sinclair, and 'Single Page Zodiac Killers Review' by Honolulu as the benchmarks for muckraking literature. Oh, and our society wasn't insular and self absorbed before? Yeah, it's that whole '"blog" phenomenon' that started it, wasn't it? After all, I'm not only a star, but an authority on all things tangible, and using my immense cyberspace stature, I enjoy rendering verdicts on the worth of records and human beings. This is when I'm not physically forcing people to read my increasingly self absorbed posts or polluting the vast tradition of internet literature with my poor spelling. In fact, I'm wrong. The Functional Blackouts are better then the Germs and The Electric Eels combined (and more dangerous than the surface of the sun) The Sermon make the MC5 look like chopped liver, the latest from the Zodiac Killers is a great record, The Mooney Suzuki easily eclipse The Rolling Stones and The Soledad Brothers are more legitimate proponents of blues then a dilettante like Pat Hare.

Anyway, I've got to get some sleep..

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