Tuesday, November 16, 2004

You, Up There, God - Kindly Place Your Tongue In My Asshole

So yeah, recently I started utilizing message boards on the internet. I'd previously sporadically taken a gander at 'em, they're good for monitoring current-state-of-music chatter, but had been reluctant to ever post on them because I didn't want to deal with any of the people. Anyway, on the Goner Bulletin Board, so named because of it's association with the fine Goner Records, founded by Eric Friedl of The Oblivians, someone I had never met before mentioned how much they enjoyed The Sermon. I took the plunge and decided to comment, mainly doing the public service of mentioning to any consumers that might be slightly influenced by the post that The Sermon sucks with more force then a black hole and it's better to save your money.

I didn't use those exact words.

A few days later the same person, who, do to some internet detective work I find out is in the harmless band I previously derided after seeing all the hype on said message boards about them, posts that he is leaving The Goner Record Boards. He's sick of the negativity.

Here's the thing, I don't like dealing with people. If it was up to me, every single human being in the world would die, so I could live in peace by myself. That'd be great. I realize that other human beings have thoughts and feelings, but except in moments when I lack my normal lucidity, I don't really give a shit. I don't think anyone really reads this thing. I couldn't care less about how other people think/live/spend their spare time, so I figured that other people were the same way. I enjoy venting my numerous problems and irritations in a semi public forum, as I was hoping that I would maybe get lucky and the lousy cocksuckers in The Makers would possibly get a much needed dose of reality and realize how shitty they are and commit suicide to the general improvement of the universe, or that people I'd never met before who come across the blog in their presumably ample freetime might continue to read it would be influenced by my opinion enough to do stuff like say, take people telling them that Taxi is a good band with a grain of salt, or save their money and not see Saw. But coming across someone whose band, who I still do not see the slightest bit of appeal about, possibly take it so personally, I'm rethinking my entire approach. Part of me wants to ask him if the pea under his mattress really bothered him that much, and if he's thinking of holding down the beat in a band filled with people who try hard to project an image of death tripping swagger - he should be able to accept criticism, but another part of me feels bad for hurting someone's feelings. Maybe it's just because I'm drunk and know how much it sucks to have someone piss all over something you've done (like when I finished a four hour long copying session today yielding what I thought were books of glory to rival anything any bookcrafter had done since the invention of literacy to give to some Client, and my Boss spent half an hour painstakingly going page by page pointing out the numerous errors I had made)...

But you know what? I'm entitled to my own opinion, goddamnit. Maybe it's just that I'm not used to having people actually read what I've written. I didn't think anyone would ever read this. You, right now, whose eyes are coming across these very words, I didn't think anyone like you existed. I don't know why I even started posting this shit, but I thought recording my thoughts to the general populace fortunate enough to have access to computers and might come across it is far better then aiming my thoughts to the void. So I figure I'm going to just keep on posting, until I get sick of it. All I do is work, then go home to a computer, a record player, a television and a sparse bookshelf. So what the fuck do I care? Am I just trying to make other people feel bad about something they tried to accomplish? Not really, but if I do, I'm not going to loose any sleep over it.

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