TELL YOUR MOM I WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY TO PAY HER, HAD THE RIMJOB BEEN OF HIGHER QUALITY

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Not Normal

So I'm at work, and in the middle of the office, I lookout and see this guy staring me at me. Never seen him before. I don't know if it was God (wouldn't he have better things to do? Can He appear in more then one place at once? Would He materialize as as a normal human being?) or what, but it wasn't a person. In the middle of the office, floating? Levitating? A foot or two above the ground, not casting a shadow just staring at me. Didn't point or anything. Didn't move, totally expressionless. So I look up, see this guy floating, nearly shit in my Dockers, and after the initial shock, just kinda stared at him. Nobody else noticed him. Looked like just a regular guy. Blonde, beard, blue collared shirt (tucked in), khaki pants, dress shoes (he was floating so his toes were pointed at the floor). It was fairly obvious nobody else saw him, and I didn't want to ask, 'Hey, you see that floating guy over there? What's his problem?' because I don't see what it would accomplish. After awhile him staring at me (he didn't look malevolent, of like he was disapproving, but he wasn't smiling, either) I just eventually went back to work an after an hour or two he was gone. I'm back at my desk now (I don't think a request for some kind of wireless doohickey so I can update my blog from the fucking copier will ever be granted) and I keep looking every few minutes to make sure he's not back and looking over my shoulder or something.

If It asks me to bomb an abortion clinic or take a rifle to the nearest clocktower, I'll ignore him, thank you very much.

I doubt God reads blogs, but I admit it crossed my non believing mind that He might have taken umbrage at me telling him (facetiously, might I add, or Lord) to stick His tongue up my ass. God seems like a sensitive sort in what little I've read about him, but this is far too much like subtle harassment at the hands of who knows what the fuck for me to worry.

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