TELL YOUR MOM I WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY TO PAY HER, HAD THE RIMJOB BEEN OF HIGHER QUALITY

Monday, November 01, 2004

My Workplace is Deep, Deep in Hell

So everyone is giving me shit for not wearing a costume today, the day after Halloween. I enjoy the holiday as much as anyone, but being subject to as much bullshit as I've been this morning for not wearing a costume, well, that's a bit much.

I wanted to use the work inkjet to make a shirt I designed (reading: YES, I'M GOING TO VOTE, STOP FUCKING BOTHERING ME ABOUT IT, BECAUSE IF ONE MORE IDIOT THAT DOESN'T MIND HIS OWN BUSINESS TELLS ME TO, I'M GOING TO HOST A TERRORIST CELL INSTEAD) as a preemptive measure against various self righteous/congradulatory jerkoffs, but I have yet to get around to it and the shirt would loose much of it's value come November 3rd.

Last night I gave out Candy to various kids, many of whom were polite, some of whom were little monsters who didn't so much as thank me, and I gave out generous servings. Whole Big Cherries. Charleston Chews (full sized). Halloween discs of choice was The Birthday Party, various monster and horror related compilation records. After the kids stopped coming I rode my bike down to a bar I had never been to before. It wasn't anything to write home about, and seeing various adults in costumes seemed vaguely threatening for some reason. Someone saw me (wearing pants, t-shirt) and asked 'what are you going as, an asshole?' in front of his pals/attractive females he was with. I decided to leave. I rode home, took some muscle relaxers, and tried to watch a horror movie before passing out in my living room.

Now I feel rubbery and disconnected, still got the muscle relaxers in me. It's making work more tolerable than usual, but there is a slight decline in motor skills, I'm typing much slower than usual, and I am constantly having to go back and delete, my finger accuracy is all fucked up. I forgot to bring myself a lunch, and our intern left so the pantry lays barren. I can't really afford to go out to the various overpriced franchise shitholes around, so I think my lunch is going to consist of corn chips and hatred of the human race.

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