TELL YOUR MOM I WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY TO PAY HER, HAD THE RIMJOB BEEN OF HIGHER QUALITY

Monday, November 08, 2004

I Have Yet To Get Any Other Replies

Maybe I'm just jumping the gun here, but nobody else has replied to me. Maybe I'd better figure out a new approach. I am not about to throw the towel in yet (it did cost money to sign up), but I'm getting ready. Shit. Still at work. My Boss? Still an asshole. I used a different deodorant today, and it's doing a lousy job. It was the gel stuff (normally, Phil's a white solid man) and in addition to the horrible sensation of smearing goo all over's armpits in a cold morning, it's making me sweat profusely, and the foul gel already smells terrible. I was copying today and got accosted by a Fucker. I was putting sheets into the copier, after unjamming it, working on the tiny LCD screen to make sure all the fucking worthless intricacies every asshole in the office seems to need even on something that simple. Said Fucker walked up. He was smiling. Probably smiled all the time, greasy skin, glasses, expensive shirt, loafers, khakis, astronauts up in their suits working on space stations can probably get whiffs of his cologne. Why do people get upset when someone like him dies? He looked at me, while I was copying.
"Whatcha doing? Copying?"
I just stared at him and didn't say anything, hoping he would leave me alone, but he kept starting at me and smiling. Then he told me that it would be easier to do double sided copies (new policy to save paper, except in special cases that were long and difficult that took a long time; when people see they ask me to do it over again single-sided) if I did it in a way he used to, back when he had my job for 'two weeks before I got kicked up'. His way was fucking stupid, and I never said anything and he kept explaining it to me, the same way I remember my Mother patiently explaining to our dog, Hokule, that shitting on the carpet was wrong, and why don't you understand it? I told you before, don't go on the carpet (repeat one dozen times).
"See? That's the way I did it! It's easier!"
I just kept doing it until he left, it was a good ten minutes of him breathing over my shoulder. I don't know his name, but I'm going to try to find out, then I'm going to make him pay dearly.

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