TELL YOUR MOM I WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY TO PAY HER, HAD THE RIMJOB BEEN OF HIGHER QUALITY

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

I Commute The Same Way Jesus Would, On A Bicycle

With all the talk about some unknown person floating at my workplace and singling me out, one of the least important people that has ever lived, out, I forgot to mention that I rode my bike to work today. I got the bike a few weeks ago, and have taken to occasionally riding it to a bar (until I found out that you can get a DUI on a bike, which is some stupid shit). For no reason really I decided to try riding my bike to work, thinking it would take an hour, and maybe the physical exertion would improve my dark mindset. So I rode, it was nice to go past traffic, wind whizzing past receeding hairline, listening to my ipod the entire way. I mostly stayed on the sidewalk to avoid being killed by bus drivers or motorists too busy being stupid to notice the biker, but the amount of pedestrians were minimal. At one point I was coming down in a incline and wanted to keep my momentum to avoid having to pedal, and there was some Fuckhead in a hooded sweatshirt with a pitbull on a leash. The pitbull was sniffing away at something on a patch of dirt towards the street, and said Fuckhead was on the other side. I ran over the leash (thankfully it was laying on the ground and wasn't stretched out) because at that point it would have been too difficult to slam on the brakes anyway. I don't think the guy gave a shit, I know the dog didn't.

Then when I got to work, the office manager, whose entire workload consist of sitting in her big office, staring at a computer looking worried and shoo'ing you away if you have a question, saw me lugging the bike up the steps and just yelled 'NO! NO!' so I lugged it back down the fucking steps (this is after I tried to put in the elevator, and had the security guard yell at me, much to the delight of my coworkers crowded in there) and locked it up outside. I'm worried that it will get stolen and I'll have to figure out another way to get home. Bike theft is common and could possibly effect me, not like domestic violence or something else I have no reason to worry about. What a day, rode my bike and saw a floating guy.

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