TELL YOUR MOM I WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY TO PAY HER, HAD THE RIMJOB BEEN OF HIGHER QUALITY

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Sideways

'Sideways' isn't a bad movie at all. Dipshit, pompous schlub, along with his pathetic pussy hound pal go up to Santa Barbara's wine country and to drink wine and play golf. Since it is actually made with some discretion, it isn't the same independent piece of shit about finding yourself that you have been avoided seeing (and rightfully so) for the past few decades. Paul Giamatti, an actor I found overrated until 'American Splendor' last year, gives a great performance a a pretentious fucker whose novel (which sounds like total garbage) is, deservedly, not going to be published. Thomas Hayden Church is funny in a realistic portrayal of a past his prime alpha male Frat Boy all grown up - since I am not suffering from severe mental retardation and therefor do not watch television sitcoms, I was unfamiliar with the man's previous work. Sandra Oh in an appealing single mother/wine slut, and it was nice to see Victoria Madison in the movies again. Even though you wonder why someone in VM's character's shoes would possibly want with some as unappealing as Miles, their flirtation plays realistically.

The movie isn't all wonderful, you get the feeling that Alexander Payne enjoys taking cheapshots off his characters. Miles is occasionally such an condescending, holier than thou asshole who can't just shut the fuck up that if any real person was in a car with him, they eventually would have no choice but to pull over and torture him with the jumper cables. I wonder if Payne ever decided that Miles is actually talented which may somehow rationalizing all his windbag affectations, or really just as jerk who hides behind dismissing others that don't share his 'passion' for wine to hide his miserable existence? As for one critically lauded scene, where sad sack lead character Miles spews out much verbiage on his love for pinot noir grapes; well, since my upbringing didn't consist of total sensory deprivation I found it cheap and painfully obvious. Someone that is ostensibly as smart as Miles, should have made the fucking connection, don't you think? But all that is besides the point, there is actually a movie, not made by an idiot, featuring characters that resemble actual people, that is in the theaters RIGHT NOW. Go see it, because it is a rare specimen.

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