TELL YOUR MOM I WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY TO PAY HER, HAD THE RIMJOB BEEN OF HIGHER QUALITY

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

It's Gotta Be A Big Joke, Right?

The Mooney Suzuki? The open mouthed asshole who is a dead ringer for the second fiddle dipshit du jour from the Wonder Years frontman, he can't be real, can he? The sheer rapidity in which they sold their worthless souls to Satan for the chance at success, could that be true?

How would I like to kill that guy? Lemme think, off the top of my head, I would like trepan his skull, put a small funnel in it, and force those just a few of those scary rainforest ants that eat whole swaths of the forest clean into the pain receptors in his brain. Then I would pluck out his eyeballs, tear off his his tiny little nuts, sew his testicles into his eye sockets and anchor his eyeballs under his junior-model sized cock with hatpins, and then let him wander the street slowly going insane from suffering. That would be quite humorous, I think. It's far better then he deserves.

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