TELL YOUR MOM I WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY TO PAY HER, HAD THE RIMJOB BEEN OF HIGHER QUALITY

Friday, October 08, 2004

I Want The Goddamned Weekend To Start Already

Someone bought cheese slices and left them in the work kitchen, so I figured those fucking things were fair game. I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich (I was still hungry after my unsatisfying ham sandwich earlier) and it tasted like shit. I figured the cheese had gone bad, and I just now realized that I had ate the paper dividers in addition to the cheese slices. Then my fucking boss made me decrumb the fucking toaster. The son of a bitch looked at me in the kitchen when I was pouring myself a glass of water and contemplating poisoning the office water supply and laughing as the staff twitches in their death throes, and he said, "PHIL, you're on toaster decrumbing!" Then the evil fuck laughed, along with this other dickhead with damn near the biggest fucking head I've ever seen who was in the kitchen drinking coffee and reading the paper. I think he's in accounting (my initial theory that he wandered into the office and had too big of a head to exit has yet to be disproved) but he could be in some other position. Fuck him. Today's the last day for the receptionist, but she was an evil old Hag that I never got along with. Incidentally, she also had hairier arms then bigfoot. There is going to be some half-assed office party, but I'd rather gouge out my eyes with a tongue depressor then eat some cheap ice cream and listen to people pretend to like each other.

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