Wednesday, October 13, 2004


The new receptionist has a boyfriend. He came by this afternoon. Typical, run of the mill dipshit. She swooned all over him, I was going to mention the Strokes record to her, but what's the goddamned point?

I took off today and left the building when I feared that anymore time inside would kill me. I walked around the block. It was too hot. Everyone I saw on the street looked like a piece of shit. Luxury cars on the street. How can everyone afford a car like that? Even if you could, isn't there better stuff to spend your money on? Passed the fancypants, expensive cafe by my work. Good looking people were eating in the outdoor seating. I spotted a pair that had a bunch of sourdough bread in their basket, untouched. I dearly love sourdough bread. I'm willing to bet they were Atkins Assholes, hence the untouched bounty of fresh, springy pieces of delicious bread. It was two girls, both had on too much clothes and sunglasses and weird scarf things on their heads. I walked by, they were chatting over some kind of ugly soup, and I grabbed a handful. They SCREAMED BLOODY MURDER and I had to take off in a run, turn the corner, turn the next corner and sneak back into the building, while wheezing. I still have the adrenaline shakes. Thankfully they didn't force some poor busboy to give chase. The bread got all compressed and sweaty in my hands so I had to throw it away. Is it a crime to grab bread? Could someone at the restaurant have recognized me from working in my building? Could I get in some kind of trouble? I wish that receptionist didn't have a boyfriend, all I want is just a little bit of happiness. Is that too much to ask? I see happy people all over the place, smiling, vacant eyed, disgusting human beings, with lot's of friends, a good looking sex partner on their arm, laughing and having a great time. Who do I have to kill just to find one person? Shit. Maybe the movies will cheer me up, because right now I'm wondering I have access to any beams that will hold enough weight for me to hang my worthless ass from.

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